How Having Borderline Personality Disorder Can Affect Your Friendships

Jasmine, 23, also has BPD. She notices that she’s very quick to connect with others and can experience a sense of an emotional intimacy with new friends right away. She told ‘I connect, sometimes scarily quickly, but it happens so regularly now that it’s almost lost its value.

If I can connect this intensely and emotionally with most people, who are the special ones? Who are the right ones? It can’t be everyone. ‘I do worry people will get bored of me. I worry when people are too busy to hang out with me, even if they are genuinely busy. I worry that when people must leave for the evening I’ve said something to insult them. ‘I worry that when I have an episode they will not know how to help, and I’ll get angry and think I’ve chosen the wrong friends. I’m worried I’ll blame them. I worry I’m not being the best friend I could possibly be.’ This extreme tendency to worry can be incredibly difficult.

The constant chatter of the BPD brain means that it’s always finding new things to be anxious about and new reasons why your mates don’t actually like you. Paranoia can be a trait of BPD, particularly in times of stress. You might find yourself second guessing every action and interaction, playing conversations back hours, days, or weeks after they’ve happened, or torturing yourself with the idea that you’ve been weird, over-the-top, embarrassing, or inappropriate in social situations .

This is an incredibly exhausting way to live. Every day, I find myself eaten up with fears that my friends secretly hate me or are talking about me behind my back, leaving me emotionally drained, unsettled and tempted to ask (for the millionth time) whether they actually like me or not.

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