How Having Borderline Personality Disorder Can Affect Your Friendships

That means that I get a bit spammy with messages sometimes if I think I’ve upset someone. This is the point where people likely get annoyed and don’t talk to me as much, the friends I’ve known for the longest know this though and they’ll just let me get it out of my system.

‘I had the same housemate for about ten years which helped. He was incredibly supportive, he had a lot to deal with sometimes when he’d wake up and come into the bathroom and I’d be sitting on the floor cutting myself, but he really stuck by me and never judged me for my lowest points which I’ll forever appreciate.’ Self-destructive behaviours like self-harm, unprotected sex or drug abuse can be very upsetting and difficult for others to deal with, but they don’t make the person engaging in them any less deserving of friendship.

Friends don’t have to try to fix things or cure the illness, but they do need to be able to refrain from making you feel like a bad person because you have a particular mental health diagnosis. Just having someone say ‘I understand that you’re hurting right now’ can be so intensely meaningful.

BPD sufferers don’t want to be therapised or treated like an invalid by their mates – they want to feel liked, accepted and supported, just like anyone else. People like Brendan’s housemate, who respond to things like self-harm in a supportive and non-judgemental way, can have an amazingly positive impact on the lives of people with BPD.

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